Monday, September 11, 2006

My guilty 9/11 memory...

I know some of you out there are gonna disagree with me, but I have a hidden shame of sorts about the day the terrorists attacked America.

I took my mind off the mayhem of the news I was hearing by concentrating on winning an eBay auction. In fact, I kinda figured that other people would be so distracted by the horrible events transpiring that day that it would give me a better chance to win this auction. Guess what?

I was right.

The item that I won was a CD copy of My Bloody Valentine's "You Made Me Realise" EP, on Creation Records. In hindsight, that song's incredible, uncompro- mising chaos makes an appropriate (albeit unofficial) theme song of sorts for that horrible day five years ago. When I heard the news, I was working on a long-term contract doing computer consulting for an investment banker in Chicago. I was in my department's morning status meeting when the full news hit me. At the beginning of the meeting, we had already known that the first tower had been hit. I thought that was a tragedy, but at that point, the thought that it was a terrorist attack hadn't crossed my mind. The meeting was in progress when one of the other managers popped in to let us know that the other tower had been hit. It was at that point that for all of us, the light bulb lit up above our heads that it was indeed a terrorist attack, the likes of which we'd never seen before. I walked around numb for most of that day, once I found out that my sister and brother in NYC and my sister-in-law (and her family) in NJ were safe. God, that was a horrible day, the likes of which I pray we never see again in our lifetime.

But for me, MBV's "You Made Me Realise" will always be entwined with that day. And the fact that I used the prevailing upheaval of that day to win a CD auction. For that last fact, I feel sorta guilty. My friend (and my wife, for that matter) tell me I don't need to feel guilty, that eBay is a worldwide thing.

Except the world was in chaos that day.

2 Comments:

Blogger Todd Totale said...

Yeah, but if you're like me, music is so critical to my own therapy and well being that it makes perfect sense that you'd focus on it during 9/11. Even the act of buying something music related is telling; I know there's been a few times when I've felt down and the mere act of buying lots of cds has made me feel better.
Now if what you were bidding on was a rare copy of that Dream Theater album released around 9/11, the one with the NYC skyline (including the trade towers) in flames, then that would have in poor taste.

September 16, 2006 7:42 AM  
Blogger DJMurphy said...

Thanks, T. You honestly helped put it in a better perspective than a lot of others have been able to so far, and that helps me put it in a little better place for me. From one music nut to another...

September 17, 2006 8:35 PM  

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